Goals, Rewards and a Little Extra

When I stepped on to the scale, this morning I somehow managed to loose 0.9kg (2 lbs). Ordinarily this wouldn't surprise me but I had about 1500 calories yesterday and it seems kind of improbable. I weighed myself ten times before I was certain my scale was not having a bonkers moment and I really had lost two pounds. I feel guilty because I haven't taken my dog out for a walk. It's about 10 am and I'm much to lazy to move. I'm sipping my tea while typing and I'm at peace. The whole walking the dog situation seems a bit cumbersome.
I have decided to start of with 800 calories a day. Any less seems far to difficult at the moment. I just don't feel like I can do it.

Goals&Rewards

SW   : 67.6 kg
GW 1: 66.9 kg  [Go for a movie]

GW 2: 66.0 kg  [Go for a sleep over with the 'best friends']

GW 3: 64.9 kg  [Wear my white summer skirt]
GW 4: 63.0 kg  [Go out drinking and dancing]
GW 5: 61.9 kg  [Wear my ink blue shorts/ pant]

I also promised myself that I wouldn't touch a cigarette till I reached 59.9kg because that would be a major incentive for me. It's going to give me the added health benefit and ensure I don't get addicted.

Weigh in: 66.7 kg

A Little Bit of Inspiration : Cigarettes

The Rambling Post

My muscles are killing me but I welcome the pain. I haven't lost any weight. I gained 0.2 pounds. In my body's defense I ate far too much to loose. I'm currently hovering between 1000-1800 calories a day. I've started being more active (or trying to be at any rate).
I'm trying to clock in 7000 steps a day on my pedometer. I spend so many hours with my books and other classes that I barely get off my seat.
If I was still purging, well I know my calories would be lower but purging is not something I want to do anymore. Generally once I purge it's like a friggin fest. It doesn't even matter if breakfast was 80 calories of sugar free, fat free yogurt. It'll come right back up. Once I start the purging cycle I can't stop for a long time. It's sort of like , "If I eat something, I'll eat everything, so I don't eat at all." except more like "If I purge once, I'll purge everything, so I don't purge."
In all honesty I probably should cut down to about 750 calories so I can function and lose weight at the same time. Once my various obligations are done, by may 19th I can go to my old routine of eating 500 calories a day and burning 300-800.
I'm going to Sri Lanka in four days and I was hoping to loose about two pounds before I leave, but I have a feeling that won't be happening. I wish I could stop all the night eating. I've never had to hide my eating habits at home, my mom, the doctor, has these odd issues with food (she thinks 500 calories is a perfectly healthy amount of food to eat when you're on a diet, assuming you exercise of course) and I've always had weird meal timings since I was a child so no one really finds it odd when I skip most meals they just assume I ate something earlier. I will have a problem when we go to Sri Lanka. We're going to be doing stuff like diving, river rafting, drinking and dancing, and hiking. I can skive off most of the alcohol calories but I expect I'll end up having a beer or cocktail and then smoking so I don't get tempted. I've never had to hide anything except purging and I don't want to purge on the trip. It makes me light headed and it's not safe if I pass out while diving or something. I'll probably stay at about 750 calories on the trip. Stick to the whole 'I cant eat before getting into a car.' and 'but I always fast on Thursdays.' It's such an odd feeling researching how to 'hide an ED from friends/family' We'll end up eating out every day and I'll really have to be careful of what I eat.
I should probably go and study for my exam which is in two days. Wish me luck. <3
Jamie