Family Night

So last night was eventful and mind fucking. I managed to get out of a sleepover at my brothers friends place because I was afraid I'd drink and my calories would shoot from 340 to 1000. I was planning on having a cup or two of soup and going to bed like a good person. Putting my total up to 540. Bang. My brother pops in and says were having family night. First we head out to a bar. I drink as little as possible without arising suspicion. Then I end up eating the starters because everyone looks at me weirdly when I turn them down the first time. So i come equipped to purge those calories. Drinking sips of water and alcohol between each tiny bite. Except when I want to go to the restroom my mother comes with me. So I didn't get to purge. Then I think to myself, well we're going for a movie later I'll just have a diet coke and tell them I'm full. We happened to miss said movie and ended up at Häagen-Dazs. So forced to order something I caved and instead of ordering a waffle with maple syrup I ask for a cookie sundae. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL did I screw up. 

On a lighter note. My brother after his pitcher of beer and my flavored beer and some gin was buzzed to say the least. He started acting like he was smashed just to freak my mom out. My dad was high too. My mum was the designated driver and while she was driving we started prank calling her colleague, P. P happens to be really chilled out and is a blast so she was pretty cool with the whole thing. It was fun to say the least.

On the bright side I only gained 0.1 kg. PHEW. Hope you are all doing lovely.<3 Jamie

24 May

Breakfast:
One slice of toast w/ one egg (140)
Tea (0)
Lunch:
1 large mango (170)
1 toffee (30)
Dinner:
Starters- cottage cheese, garlic bread & stuffed mushroom (400)
Alcohol- 1 gin and tonic & half a flavored beer. (140+ 200)
Desert: Häagen-Dazs cookie sundae (600)

Total: 1680

Steps: 6000

Weight: 65.9

23d May (for lack of a better title)

I went for Fast and the Furious 6. It was brilliant and a quick suggestion wait for the credits. :) So I planned on not having anything but that went out the window and I ended up having half a large cheese& caramel popcorn. The combination is a little bizarre but it's delicious.
Then I thought it would be okay to go for lunch with them at 4:30pm and decided I would not eat.
So as I happily sipped my diet coke. S looked at me weirdly and said "J, why aren't you eating anything."
So I went on and said "Oh it's because I'm not hungry."
Now this would have ordinarily worked, except he knows me and we had been with each other since the morning so he knew I couldn't have eaten much.
"What did you eat?" he questioned, eyeing my diet coke dubiously
"Popcorn." I said sealing my fate.
"J, please tell me you aren't going to the gym."
"I'm not." I said honestly. He didn't need to know I was working out at home.
I ended up eating a bite of chocolate tart, two french fries and a crisp and a sip of his milkshake, just to appease S.

Popcorn(200)

Lunch(200)
Dinner(400)
Chocolates(112)

Total =912 calories

Steps: 4500

Weight: 66.5

The Silent Killer: Chocolate Cake

Breakfast: 
Tea (20)
Lunch: 
Slice of toast w/ low fat cheese (110)
Snack: 
Drumstick leaves, yogurt and gram. (70)
Popcorn (180)
Tea(20)
After 7 pm:
Fried mini dumplings (180)
Soup (70)
Lychee (100)
Watermelon&Cucumber (100)
Tea (20)
Chocolate Cake (200)                                        
Pumpkin Seeds (200)

Total: 1190

Distance walked/jogged: 6.25 km

WEIGH IN: 66.7

So last night got messed up. My brother came home from uni and we sat up till 2 am playing poker. My brother whipped out the seeds, my dad the cake and I melted. So I ate like an Idiot. Chocolate will be the death of me.
I'm still sick but the scales have gone down. I hope everyone is doing great.
On another note I actually took my dog for a walk :) I feel so proud of myself. My dog came back and literally looked like she was dead. We had to check a few times, just to be sure she was still breathing. She's never walked even half as much before.
Love you all,
Jamie

Goals, Rewards and a Little Extra

When I stepped on to the scale, this morning I somehow managed to loose 0.9kg (2 lbs). Ordinarily this wouldn't surprise me but I had about 1500 calories yesterday and it seems kind of improbable. I weighed myself ten times before I was certain my scale was not having a bonkers moment and I really had lost two pounds. I feel guilty because I haven't taken my dog out for a walk. It's about 10 am and I'm much to lazy to move. I'm sipping my tea while typing and I'm at peace. The whole walking the dog situation seems a bit cumbersome.
I have decided to start of with 800 calories a day. Any less seems far to difficult at the moment. I just don't feel like I can do it.

Goals&Rewards

SW   : 67.6 kg
GW 1: 66.9 kg  [Go for a movie]

GW 2: 66.0 kg  [Go for a sleep over with the 'best friends']

GW 3: 64.9 kg  [Wear my white summer skirt]
GW 4: 63.0 kg  [Go out drinking and dancing]
GW 5: 61.9 kg  [Wear my ink blue shorts/ pant]

I also promised myself that I wouldn't touch a cigarette till I reached 59.9kg because that would be a major incentive for me. It's going to give me the added health benefit and ensure I don't get addicted.

Weigh in: 66.7 kg

Calories and Bingeing and little bit more

Last night I pulled out my classics that I used to read when I was thirteen and was gobsmacked. The books which I had once read with ease, I found difficult to comprehend. Obviously my english really has deteriorated drastically. I need to start reading better books and not random stuff on wattpad.
I'm sick, sneezing once a minute, drinking fifteen cups of tea and sleeping sixteen hours a day kind of sick. My maid didn't show up today. She's a darling and makes the best vegetable soup ever. My mom hired her because she needed a job and she had a mental illness that made it difficult for her to work in house where she didn't know the people.(She isn't really dangerous at all) She used to work for my grandmother but stopped when she moved. So my moms know her since she was sixteen and instantly figured out there was something wrong. It's easier for my maid because my mother is a doctor and it makes her feel safer. She's like a second mum to me and she's really cool. She used to cover for me when my boyfriend used to come over when my parents were out.
Anyway , I was looking for some left over soup when I found my dad's salad-ul-viea, It's this Iranian creamy chicken salad with eggs, peas,potatoes and sliced pickles. (He makes a similar separate one which is vegetarian for me). It's one of my absolute weaknesses . I made myself a sandwich with it (because I couldn't find the soup). I ate most of it before realizing I couldn't purge because my throat was really fucked up. Then I thought it would be a wise idea to drink a cup of hot chocolate (they are usually 100 calories) but my dad forgot to tell me he hadn't removed the fat yet. We generally buy skimmed milk and then re-skim it. I drank it before he told me.....
I binged. On rice and curry and crisps. Disgusting. I'm hoping if I record what I eat here then I'll feel more accountable. I feel pretty darn shitty and I should learn to stop eating when I'm upset.
Breakfast: Tea(20), Lychee (30), Sandwich:(350)
Snack: hot chocolate: (120)

Lunch: 1230(binge)
Dinner: (nil)

Total: 1750 calories.... EW...

Catch Up, Over Some Tea

"You know, you'd look like a model if you just lost a little bit of weight."
I can't believe my best friend thought this would sound like a compliment. Thank you oh-so very much for telling me I'm ugly because I'm fat. Now it's definitely all my fault. Guys can be so god damn dense. And to make matters worse he said, "Jamie, like 10 pounds and damn you'd be beautiful. I can't believe I never noticed before."
I was left with no choice but to laugh it off and say "Dude, I know."
Sadly he didn't get the message and kept on about it. Needless to say, I didn't really eat after that.
On another note, I came back from Sri Lanka last night. It was beautiful and everyone was so nice. However the vegetarian options at most restaurants were limited to high calorie food (most often fried or baked in butter.) You wouldn't believe what I'd give for a raw carrot or a huge helping of ice berg lettuce by the end of it. I gained about 3 pounds but I think I resigned myself to gaining on my first day there. On the bright side, I've toned up (from all the swimming) and bought a really cute white skirt which is just a wee bit tight for me. Motivation anyone :)
I'm feeling a little under the weather today and I have a killer sore throat so I'm debating on liquid fasting today.
I hope everyone is doing great....
Hugs and Kisses,
Jamie

A Little Bit of Inspiration : Cigarettes