Conflicting Desires

For the first time in my entire life my brother called me fat. He said I have the makings of a double chin and that I've gotten rounder. The thing that sucks is even when I was 5 pounds heavier he always used to tell my parents off for hinting about my weight. Now I want to binge because I feel like shit but I cant because then I'll get fatter. I want to throw something at him because I'm still in the "normal" BMI category. On the higher side of normal but still normal. I honestly think that I look fatter because my muscle mass has gone down because of my erratic starving and bingeing. So now even though I weigh less than I used to, I look bigger than I used to.
Bigger, Huge, Giant &Ginormous....
I will learn to enjoy not eating again. I will get some god damn self control back. I will be thin.